Dominican University has 1,363 undergraduate students (thanks Wiki). So let’s just say that 50% of the student body is lame AF, minus a few others, carry the one…..Annndd we’re left with 600 strong. 600 raging degenerates that want nothing more than to lose a few brain cells, and maybe bump ugly’s with a stranger. So why is it so damn fetch here? — Mean Girls reference (well played Disco Tramp)
Enough With The Math Nerdbutt
Maybe it’s living in this wealthy area, where old people enjoy calling the five-0, shutting down every decent house party to ever exist – – thinking of you, volleyball girls of 2015.
OR when some brave soul says, “fuck it!”, and volunteers their house as tribute, which is promptly met by a mob of impressively drunk, overly eager students, all squeezing in a small house to create a human sauna – – #feelthebern.
Unfortunately, we’ve all been here…the failed attempts at turning the music off…the host politely telling everybody to, “shut the fuck up….please”, goes unnoticed. The walls start to sweat from the cesspit of bodies that are getting ‘Lit AF’, and somehow, Woody is naked…again.
Agghaha yes! All of this is shamefully true. But there is something to be done.
Tips On How…To Not Suck As Much
- Day Drinking – Follow Michael Manfredi’s footsteps with Labor Dayge and start throwing more day parties?! – – less likely to get broken up + beers are colder duh
- Become the craziest DII sports fans of all time…Lots of sport = lots of pre gaming #SkooooPengs
- Don’t be that girl, respect other people, and their house. You don’t have to be throwing up while someone draws a penis on your head to be having fun…
I love you,